Sunday, October 23, 2011


Something that really does NOT impress me is over-complicated culinary WANK. That fussy food that is so (f)artfully arranged on the inner 5cm diameter of a dinner plate the size of Bert Newtons head.

for those of you who aren't au fait with Australian Z-Grade celebrities...
(note, head is so large it doesn't even fit in the frame.)

And foam. Foam is my other pet hate. Herein known as spittle. I've also heard it referred to as 'air'. Such a stroke of genius to decide, "We need to raise more revnue in this establishment... Hey! Let's get the kitchen hand to hock a loogie onto the side of the plate!" Voila! An excuse to lob an extra $20 onto every item on the menu. The saddest part about all of this is that there are actually even sadder people who will cough up the bucks (pardon the pun!) for the opportunity to be a part of this absurd gourmet charade. It's almost as bad as British cook Heston Blumenthal, and his ongoing 'quest' for perfect food. Interesting to watch, but (at the risk of sounding over-sentimental) I think that the point of food is that it is the basic, simple, fresh ingredients that maketh a meal... not wether its molecular structure has been amended to a point that it should, by laboratory standards, taste 'perfect'.

It does give me this awesome idea for a restaurant though. Or... sorry... a gastronomic venture. Basically, instead of serving food, people are served 'tastes'. They sit at the table, and are presented with a menu. From this they select a range of dishes that they feel they would like to sample. They are then given some sort of hose like contraption with a nozzle on the end which they place in their mouth. Like a hookah pipe, the 'diner' sucks in a puff of flavoured air which in essence is their 'meal'. Sort of like a culinary fart.

I think it would be a go-er.

Thursday, October 6, 2011

food obsession #1

Let me introduce you to one of my food obsessions...

BEHOLD! The humble doughnut (or in this case, 'donut')!

There are two genus of doughnut:

1) the iced and filled variety
2) the plain old 'hole-y', freshly fried cinnamon-sugar variety

The latter is by far my favourite. Perfectly simple, in all it's tooth-achingly-sweet-burn-the-roof-of-your-mouth-off glory. The fine specimen in the above photo was purchased from the Donut Inn, which has been a mainstay of the Adelaide Central Railway Station since I can remember. But then, I've noticed in my travels that the natural habitat for the doughnut stall seems to be railway stations.

Besides being fantastically unhealthy, cinnamon doughnuts are indiscrimnatory when it comes to the mess they make too. I have seen many a well dressed businessman in such a state of deep-fried sugary bliss, that they fail to notice that their doughnut has left a powdery finish over their Armani suit pants; something akin to a bad bout of confectionery dandruff. I wonder if whoever does their laundry tutts to themsevles when they turn the pockets of these pants inside out, and half a kilo of sugar dumps itself over the floor...
(Sort of like my daughter's socks after she's spent a day in the kindergarten sandpit.)

My final word on doughnuts is this - they are deceptively filling. This is why I greedily bought 3 today, and still have one left sitting in its paperbag. The question is, is it worth reheating the doughnut only to be left slighly disappointed by the inability to recapture the moment when it is fresh out of the fryer. The crisp edges are now soft, soggy. The sugar has soaked into the flaccid skin. No longer a luscious doughnut... more of a depressive dough-not.

NB: I make no excuses for bad food puns

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

So, how to start... it's kind of like when you go to a new eatery for the first time. You're not quite sure where you should go, and you sort of mill around the entrance checking out the lay of the land. What sort of people eat here, what sort of food do they serve, how attentive are the staff, where the hell is the toilet... Sort of like a restaurant voyeur. A new blog is sort of the same: wondering what sort of people might frequent here, what I should write - being that I'll write most of these posts from home, I thankfully do know where the facilities are.

To give you a better understanding of what this blog is all about, I should probably fill you in on what has bought me here. I had long thought that I didn't have that much to contribute to the online community: I am neither a new dark age model or lolcat, Twitter seems pointless and the new Facebook scares the pants off of me. However, The Wife was insistant that I blog to the world. So what does one talk to the world about!? Then it became obvious... I like food. I like eating. In fact I've been involved with both for close on 34 years, so I feel I'm fairly knowledgable on such things. And so, OM-NOM-NOM was born. A blog where I will discuss food. I'm not talking about indepth, soul-searching, philosphical dissection on what food means to me. Nor self-important reviews on the latest and greatest restaurants. Just about food and how it fits in with my every day life... with possibly a few witty photographs of my cat (because let's face it, the internet is run on lolcats).

To get things started, I'm going to let you in on a freak-ish ability I have... my internal, food-seeking GPS. Like some crazy culinary sixth sense, I will finds you good foods. Monday (which was a public holiday), my spidey-senses told me that we must head south. So off we headed - The Wife and I - to the fast evolving new food-mecca of the south, Port Noarlunga. There, I honed in on The Fleurieu Pantry. A hidey-hole of a place at the end of a passageway, thick with beaded curtains. We sat amongst the antiques (of which many are for sale), wedged between a stone well and a bamboo screen in what feels like a cross between a flea-market and a summer-house. Sounds bizarre, but it works. And so does the food... sourdough rolls delicately spread with garlic butter, spinach and cherry tomato lasagne with a piquant spinach and rocket salad and dukkah chicken with all the trimmings. And although the meals did take a little while to come out, you have to take into account that the kitchen was pretty much a one-woman operation. Nom-factor of close to 5... but I'll let the photos speak for themselves:

Mini sourdough loaves - anything mini is immediately more appetising.

Spinach and cherry tomato lasagne

There just isn't enough purple food in the world as far as I'm concerned!

There isn't a lot of wine by the glass available - we went for the Leconfield Syn Cuvee Blanc - however what is available is good quality. The staff were incredibly friendly, despite being under the pump on a holiday-Monday which all together means that we will be returning soon to sample more of this amazing fare!

That evening, not to be outdone, I did actually cook up two monster steaks with mushroom sauce and lightly steamed asparagus....

And just to prove that I really did cook this meal... as well as prove that I really am a lush...

All class. And I wouldn't have it any other way!